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my morning meditation view


This month I reached a birthday milestone. I am being granted the privilege of growing old.  I say that now because before, the number of years I am, have never felt very old to me.  Maybe it’s because I come from a large extended family where my twin sister and I were always the “babies” of the group.  We were the youngest of the kids.  Now the kids have kids.  And we have reached a number that makes me pause and evaluate where I am at in my life and if I am achieving what I hoped to achieve when I was younger.

Professionally, I am not fulfilled.  I have a job that I like at a company that I admire and have much respect for.  But something is still missing. I do not feel the value in my work as I once did.  I consider myself lucky and honestly very grateful.  I am in the position I am to have a career that so many would trade places with me for.  But I’m looking for something bigger.  Something that fills my heart and soul with passion, motivation and ultimately, I feel like I’m making a difference in people’s lives.  I’m not sure where my career is going yet (and I’ve learned to be ok with that) but as my mentor once said, I’m birthing something big here. 

The reason my work has become lackluster is because my heart grew.  I gave birth to a wonderful little boy almost 2.5 years ago.  Since then, my world was forever changed.  Things that mattered took a back seat, and anything I did in life was for him and our family. Becoming a mother was the biggest (and best) transformation I have ever experienced. The time I now spend away from him and my husband needs to be valuable and worthwhile.

This post didn’t have much meaning other than I needed to put my thoughts and feelings into words.  I hope to soon get back into the swing of blogging. I’m learning to be patient with myself for not giving 100% to any one area of my life right now.  However, I think as I begin to chip away at all of these things little by little, the truth of my purpose will begin to reveal itself.  Happiness along the way is what I strive for. Being present in the moment is what I aim for.  And being true to myself is what I hope for.  Until next time friends, be well.  

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